Survivors say yes!
We asked three relationship violence survivors if they felt prevention education would have helped them better navigate their situation. Their responses highlight the importance of learning this information early in life and sharing it with as many people as possible.
Do you think that early relationship violence education, or having a friend who had received this education, would have helped you later in life?
Georgia*, 28, entered her abusive relationship at age 17 and her ex-partner was 23. The abuse didn't start until a few years in when she was heavily invested and he had already isolated her from her family and friends. She escaped when she was 25 after enduring eight years of severe physical and emotional torment when her abuser attempted to kill her and then killed himself. Here's what she had to say:
"I really do [think prevention education would have helped]. I think I would have recognized warning signs that things were going to get abusive (like the isolation from my friends and family), and then [turn physical] when the super personal insults that seemingly would come out of nowhere started.
I’m not sure if it would have made me leave, but I would have had a better idea of how things would progress and worsen if I had known about the patterns."
Alexis*, 29 grew up watching her mother endure bad relationship after bad relationship. She had several relationships in her late teens and early 20s that were emotionally abusive. At least two of her partners were narcissists and coercive control was present in all but her current relationship, which is healthy, balanced, and happy. Here was her response:
"I grew up around a lot of toxic relationship situations and was raised thinking that behavior was normal. So in my late teens and early 20s, I thought taking emotional abuse from men was just part of a relationship.
Had I had some sort of intervention, or someone had told me earlier on in my life (childhood age) ‘hey, this behavior isn’t okay, and here’s why...’ I probably wouldn’t have endured as much as I did as a young adult."
Allison*, 34, shared her story about surviving a relationship with an addict. She tried to leave many times but it wasn't until he was arrested for theft that she was able to free herself of him and rebuild her life.
"My parents had 6 marriages between them, none of which I viewed as "bad", but I just didn't have a clear example of a healthy relationship. I met my ex when I was only 19, he was 28. I was surprised that an older guy was interested in me, but I didn't view it as a red flag. By the time family and friends were warning me against him, I was already sucked into a toxic codependent relationship with an addict.
I thought I was smart, I thought I was grown and knew how to take care of myself and protect myself, but I had no clue about how dangerous abusers can be. I didn't know people could be so manipulative or the risk of getting dragged down with them. I wanted to be loved, but I wish I had known that some types of "love" are toxic and NOT worth having! When I found out he was getting out of jail, I was the most terrified I've ever been in my life. I had to move and get a restraining order, but it wasn't until I moved away from [my hometown] that I actually felt safe from him. It was many years of holding my breath when I'd go home for a visit. Only this past year I went home and realized I didn't worry of him once. It ended 12 years ago.
If there was a way for education about healthy relationships to be taught in Sex Ed in schools, I would absolutely CAMPAIGN for that. The Sex Ed we get is pretty pathetic anyway, but it would be amazing to include healthy vs toxic relationship types, to help prevent women from even getting into these dangerous relationships. What happened to me is unacceptable. What happened to Claire is unforgivable and horrific. People accept it as just another tragedy but it should NOT be.
We want to know your opinions on prevention education and its significance! Please spend five minutes completing this anonymous form to give us insights that we can share with those who might be undecided about prevention education, and to enhance our mission.
*names have been changed to respect anonymity
Comments